Sunday, December 18, 2011

How can we reach a world we never touch?

  "Blessed is the one who considers the poor! In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him; the Lord protects him and keeps him alive; he is called blessed in the land; you do not give him up to the will of his enemies." Psalm 41:1-2
  I've been thinking alot about the poor lately. I keep running into people as I go about my days the past while (don't worry, I don't mean literally), and I've seen for probably the first time the reality of the masses of people who have at the very least alot less than I am used to living with.  
  Last week I was on my way to teach sewing class, 45 minutes from home. As I was driving through the town of Honeybrook, a older lady crossed the street, right in front of my vehicle. At first I didn't notice her, in my hurry to get where I was going. But something made me look twice ...
  That lady was at least older than my Mom.  She was wearing obviously well-worn clothing. She was limping. No jacket, in spite of the cold weather. Carrying a large bag filled with what was evidently all the belongings she owned.  Her hair hung limply on her shoulders.  Her expression was blank.  She stumbled across the street and back behind a building. Nowhere to go; no one who cared.
  I went on my way, filled my tank with gas, got where I was going, and promptly forgot about the whole thing. Life is easy. I have what I need, and if I don't have it, I can go buy it. I have a job. I have a family. A home. Food with plenty to spare. Everything! And it's inevitable that I'm going to forget that there's anybody out there who has next to nothing of the joys I take for granted every day.

  I was in the city, doing what I do every week. Only, again, I ran into someone who was evidently destitute; what I carried in my purse would be riches to this dear lady. I see her weekly, making the same rounds: she walks across the street at a certain place, carries two large bags, and wears less-than-warm clothing even though the wind is blowing and it's icy cold.  I saw her last week, sleeping under the overhanging roof at the gas station.  It was raining, and I was shivering after standing outside for only a few minutes.  This lady is elderly ...

  I've been finding my heart burdened for people like the people I've described above. I've been asking myself alot of questions ... looking at Christ's example, how He humbled Himself.  Actually identified Himself with people that we'd, frankly, be disgusted by.  People who were waaaaay below His standard - in more ways than one. 

 Can I do that? I mean for real - can I identify with some of the people that I run into? The homeless person on the corner? That old lady who perpetually mutters to herself, has repetitive habits, and walks endlessly - what about her? Can I identify with her to such a extent that I would stoop to wash her feet like Jesus did?

  It's questions like that, that keep running through my mind.  I think God is trying to tell me something.  I want to have deep love and compassion for the poor around me - but I don't just want a emotional "I feel so sorry for them!" kind of a response.  I want something that's going to make me stop and reach out a hand of love to that dirty, homeless individual.  Something that goes beyond my natural reaction of withdrawing.

  I think of a article that I read recently, regarding alot of the same things.  He said a rather radical statement that I won't repeat here ... but he was trying to get the idea across about Jesus' incredible identification with us.  I mean, to become what we are - from the high and exalted place of God's right hand? That's incredible. That's divine.  And I think God is calling me to that same identification, that same humility, that same love that's not afraid to touch a world madly on it's way to eternal separation from Him.

    Anyway, that's some of what I've been thinking of the past while.  Maybe it makes some sense to you all too.  I've been challenged, and I'm looking to the Lord to show me ways that I can follow His example, as I interact with people in my everyday life. 
 
 
 

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Planting Seeds in Little Lives

  ...Thought I'd take you along with me to visit the childrens' ministry that I'm a part of, Seeders of Lebanon.  We're a ministry located in the city of Lebanon, PA. and we meet every Tuesday night.  We have about 50 children, on average, who attend 'Tuesday church' regularly.  A typical night - if such a thing exists when you're working with children! - goes as follows.
  Each night starts with a devotional time and prayer.  We set up our class-rooms, then hit the road for pick-up.  Depending on the night, or the children, or the weather, or unexplained naughtiness, the ride can be mild or wild.  Usually it's wild. :) Having up to 15 children in a 15 passenger van can be fun!
  Once we're back to our rented building, the children disperse to their classrooms, divided by age.  My class ranges on average from age 6-10.  Peek into our classroom...
  We four teachers - two girls and two guys - take turns teaching each week. Generally we have anywhere from 5-12 children, depending on the night, all crowded into our little classroom. Natasha, with her wiry hair, irresistible smile and endless energy, comes tumbling into the room. "Who's teaching tonight did you bring candy can I have a piece of gum when are we going to sing?" She's always bubbling over with things to say and a song to pick!
  Carey and Dorothy are evidently sisters.  Both have blond-brown hair and sweet smiles.  Carey is our youngest little girl - and she loves to be carried around, in spite of her age.  She'll give you one smile with her missing front teeth, and her inability to say her R's correctly, and you'll not be able to resist her!  Her older sister, Dorothy, is very idependent; I find myself trusting her as I would a older girl, having very grown-up conversations.  She's a gem when other, younger girls are acting up during class time - she knows what behaviour we expect, and encourages the other girls to comply.
  There's a explosion of noise and in comes another crowd of girls.  Pushing and shoving and chattering, they're enjoying themselves already.  Cartwheels, jumping jacks, wrestling - it's going to be a lively night.  It's class time, so we organize the girls and have them sit on the floor in a big circle, strategically making sure that we staff are sitting in between the naughtiest ones. ;)
  "Hush, everybody! It's class time! Remember the rule - no talking during class."  We sing together for awhile ... the children often will get really excited, singing loudly, clapping, moving around.  Without fail, someone will get carried away and start shouting, disturbing the class on the other side of our curtain 'wall'.  That's life - it's not at all unusual to hear other classes of children shouting or running around.  We aim to keep order, but at times it's a real challenge with these city children!
  One of us will teach the children a simple Bible lesson for 5-10 minutes.  We love object lessons, as the children can understand and grasp those much easier than when we just read a Bible story.  The last time that I taught class, I used the topic of bad/good thoughts, and what to do about the bad ones. 
  I brought a really cute doll - my younger sister's special baby doll - and had my fellow teacher say a bad thought: "Jess, you should keep that doll to yourself and not share her.  Don't share! Don't share!"  I asked the children what I should do with that thought - should I listen to it? They were undecided; refusing to share is the norm. ;)  So I pretended to push that bad thought - my helper - right out the door!  They cheered me on, laughing and talking all at once. 
  I think you get the idea - lesson time is lively, loud, and very active.  We have to work to get their attention, and to keep it.  Sometimes they have the greatest questions, such as, "if God made a flood, and killed all the people because they were wicked ... what about us? We're wicked, too."  Or, "How are we made in God's image?" 
  Some nights, as we leave the lights of the city behind and head for our homes, we feel overwhelmed.  These children have deep, deep needs.  Most have at least one parent who is absent; some are living with relatives who really don't love them, due to both parents being in jail.  Others don't remember dad at all; worst yet, some don't know who their dad or mom is. 
  Three of our girls lost their dad in a shoot-out.  One has been molested ... twice.  Each child has a unique story, unique problems and hurts.  We never know what we might face each night, and we know that we need God's grace and wisdom to deal with each child.
  It's the greatest joy to pour our lives into these children in this little city.  I love it.  Tuesday never comes fast enough!  Oh that they would get a taste of who Jesus is, through our lives and through our love.  We realize that we're not going to be able to influence their lives for very long; they're going to grow up, and move on in life - and what we pour into their lives now will, Lord willing, make a difference for eternity. 
  So, leaving the noise and pain and needs of my city behind us ... I hope that you, my readers, enjoyed your visit.  And maybe, if God lays us on your heart, you'll pray for us. 
  

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

"If you love Me, be my hands."

"I asked the Lord to help my neighbor,
And to carry the gospel to distant lands,
And to comfort the sick, but He said to me,
If you love me, be my hands.
I asked the Lord to go to the dying,
And the orphan in the street,
And visit the prisoner, but He said to me,
If you love me, be my feet.
I asked the Lord to look to the poor,
And watch over each babe that cries,
And see each man's need, but He said to me,
If you love me, be my eyes.
I said to the Lord, I want to serve You,
But I don't know where to start.
To love is the answer, He said to me.
If you love me, be my heart."
~G. Shirie Westfall
(Taken from "Extreme Devotion", pg. 252)

  I've been seeking God alot the past while.  He hasn't let me seek in vain; I'm finding my life turned upside-down in more than one area.  I don't like it; it's not comfortable, or nice, and at times it doesn't feel very hopeful, either.  God has a way of pulling me away from my comfort zone, and leaving me with nothing to grasp (I'm the kind of person who has to have something to cling to, always) - besides for Himself.  
  But that's the way I've been living.  And when I go to God and tell Him just what I'm feeling, without fail, He brings something - or someone - or a song - or a poem - or something like that, into my life.  And it's like looking up to Mt. Everest and thirsting to climb that height, knowing that I've got to climb it - and yet knowing that puny little me doesn't have the strength to do it.  Challenged to the core, but without the strength in myself to rise to the challenge.
  It's just as if I could hear Christ's voice, every time.  It's not MY ability, or lack of ability, that matters. It's all dependent on His strength.  And that's exactly why I CAN reach that height! What sweet freedom!
  I like that verse in Job: "For He will complete what He appoints for me, and many such things are in His mind."  
  So ... one of the biggest things God is challenging my my heart with, is the mountain of love.  Loving people.  People in my circle; people I interact with on a daily basis. People with problems.  People who frustrate me or clash with my personality; people that maybe are just plain wrong.  People who I feel like are missing the point of life. It seems that everywhere I turn, there they are - those people with those problems. :) And they're bothering me.  And I don't feel like loving them.  They're wrong, after all!
  Ouch.  Is it just me, or did I see myself in that person?  In that annoying personality quirk - isn't that just what I am, inside?  How humbling to see your own fault, mirrored in the person that you really struggle to love!
  
  I found the poem that I copied at the beginning of this post, and it struck home with alot of what God has been challenging my heart with.  Is the reason His hands and feet are failing to reach the world a result of our failing to love?  Does our failure to love each other possibly reach out to the world - and the judgment we judge each other with, begins to overflow to people desperately in need of what we hold?  I think it does.  I know it does.  
  So, I read that little poem, and asked God to give me love.  Unreasonable love.  For my fellow soldiers in Christ, and for the world around me.  I want to be His hands and His feet on this earth.  Jesus wasn't afraid or threatened by other people.  He didn't fear the world.  He loved ... and whoever abides in love abides in God.  
  And just a side-note: the word love is mentioned approx. 180 times in the New Testament alone.



Thursday, December 8, 2011

Oh, Lord Jesus, how long?!?

 It's been over a month since I last stopped by here.   Life just keeps flying by ... and with it come lots of opportunities, lots of challenges, lots of trials and joys, too.  Lots of chances to lift up my head and know that God is sovereign over all of the tangles and turns of life!
  I was reading a article late last night, and was so impressed by the following little excerpt.  I think you'll be blessed, too.  If there's anything I want even more than I want life itself, it's this one: that we would fulfill the longing of Jesus Himself.  "As in heaven, so on earth."  So it's with that longing - a longing that almost literally hurts - that I share the following.

 "I long for the day when we... image-bearers of God, will never again hurt one another. No more marginalizing or minimizing one another; no more demeaning or dismissing one another; no more vilifying or idolizing one another; no more hating or hurting one another; no more using or abusing one another in any way.
No more gossip, just gospel. No more slandering anybody, just serving everybody. No more labeling, just loving. No more resentment, just enjoyment. No more meanness, just kindness. No more retaliation, just reconciliation. … FOREVER
Hasten the Day when we will finally and fully love one another as you love us, Jesus. Until that day, keep us groaning and growing in grace. Don’t let us get used to hurting each other. Grant us a beautiful sadness and quick repentances when we love poorly. May the world recognize us as your disciples by the way we love one another."  {End of quotation}



Monday, November 7, 2011

Knowing you, Jesus - there is no greater thing!

    This past week has been a really challenging one for me.  I know that God is working in my heart ... and yet at the same time there is this deadening pull to let myself get all wrapped up in (and pulled down by) things: Circumstances. Problems. Pain. Discouragement. The Deadline.  My overly-full schedule.
    So as I go through my days, I find that pull to be very real. Right when I'm up to my neck in serving, and when my heart is just thrilling in the opportunities He's opened up in my life, bam, it hits me. That little, sneaky suggestion: "Hey, did you remember that problem? I wonder how this situation is going to work out.  Huh.  I just know he or she is going to cause a problem... what am I going to do? Oh no. I forgot that she wants that order filled by next week.  And the wedding next month!" and on and on it goes. 
    And all the strength I once had to serve the Lord drains away, leaving me just about as limp as that old celery in the refrigerator.  I'm not kidding.  It's like there's a leak in my life! 
    The Lord has been showing me in more ways than one, that my life is very, very finite.  I'm limited in my ability.  I only have so much memory.  So much passion.  So much strength.  It's HIS strength that is limitless.  He's the one that gives the ability.  He's the only way that my life can, in any way, have streams of living water flowing out of it. 
    And my focus so often turns away from Him, to the of-this-world problems.  And my it goes in a downward spiral from there.  I can't afford to waste any of my strength on worrying about the circumstances I'm in.  I can't afford to waste time worrying about my reputation.  Wondering about that Big Bad Problem that is just going to show up tomorrow.  
    The only way I can go through life is by setting all of my hope, all of my expectation, all of my sight on Him.  Joying in Him.  Loving Him.  I am finding that it's so true: all of my streams come from Him.  And if I let that fellowship between me and my Father get plugged up somewhere along the way, the streams flowing from my life trickle to a slow stream .. and eventually, they die. 
    So my purpose in sharing that is to encourage myself - and you - to keep our hearts set on Jesus.  It doesn't matter as much if we haven't read a book for six months, or if our desks are piled high with unanswered letters, account statements, and unfinished study projects.  That stuff isn't going to matter in eternity. But what does matter is how buried we are in Him.  We know the difference if we aren't.  And so does the world around us.  I want a life that sings about Him, unconsciously and effortlessly, because I know Him.  

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Unreasonableness of Love

    I was impressed lately by a little book, written by Richard Wurmbrand, during his time in prison in solitary confinement.  He was shut up with God, and the rats, and the stark realities of prison life.  And the sweetness of his communion with God in that place shines out of his writings.  I thought I'd share a portion that really blessed me today, about love.
    "Reason will tell you about the foolishness of the cross.  Jesus was young, handsome, vigorous.  He could have made a good living as a carpenter, or as a doctor of the law.  He could have married and enjoyed life.  Why die to save people who do not want to be saved?  Why start something which will not be accepted, or even heard of, by the overwhelming majority of mankind, and which will be practised only by a few isolated saints?
    Who would conceive such an unreasonable project? Only Paul dared to answer this question.  A chill runs down your spine when you hear the answer.  The Bible is the only religious book to contain such an expression, which must surely be considered a blasphemy by all the religions of the world, including Christianity - "the foolishness of God!"
    Love must submit to being condemned by reason.  I told my missionary friend: "Just follow the promptings of love. Don't try to justify your actions by arguments."
    We in prison use the same unreasonableness.  When we hear the cries of someone being beaten, all the others begin to bang on their doors, "Help! Help! Stop beating!"  There is nobody to hear us, except those who are beating and who now, instead of beating only one, beat us all up, one after the other.
    What is the sense of a collective protest here?  What is the sense of expressing your solidarity with those who are beaten?  It is non-sense, which means that it is pure love.  Love does not think about what it will achieve, what it will gain.  Love does not think at all.  Love does not care about reason.  Why should it?"

    I was challenged by those words.  I long to love like that.  I long to see love like that, lived out in the church and among God's people.  Not just rational, count-the-cost-first love, but unreasonable, irrational love.  Love like Jesus loves us with.  
Richard Wurmbrand
  

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

أهلاً وسهلاً Greetings from the Land of Language! :)

    Just checking in from the land of language learning ... :) Alot of my time this week has been spent on that - language learning.  Verbs and tense, learning the correct greeting for each situation, learning to read a language that is not based on English characters, and all of the other wonderful challenges. 
    It's been difficult, frustrating, and really exciting, all at once.  Learning a language is not easy, but I am enjoying it immensely! It has given me a new perspective on what it's like to be a missionary among a people who do not speak English.  That feeling of desperately wanting to understand, of stretching brain and ear to grasp even a idea of what is being said, and yet coming away with that awful feeling of missing it all - in spite of those hours of study! 
    I've also been brokenhearted to feel what the illiterate, or those who do not have the Word of God in their own language, feel.  I have a lovely little Arabic Injeel.  (New Testament)  It has a nice black leather cover, and a silk bookmark, and a really neat little zipper around it, and the pages look so crisp - but as I open that precious book, so full of words that could change my life, I come away feeling frustrated.  Because I can read most of the words.  I can sound out those characters.  But what on earth does it mean?!?  Words, sounds, but absolutely no heart understanding.  Arabic is not my heart language.  It means basically nothing to me.
    But all in all, I think this extremely challenging language is finally beginning to make some sense to me.  It's exciting when words keep popping out at me; when after the thousandth time of hearing that word, I can actually pronounce it.  Language learning is hard business.  But so worth the time put into it!  So worth the reward of talking with a native speaker and really being understood; of being able to share the treasures I have found, in somebody's own heart-language.  It's great.  It's thrilling.  I love it!
   
    


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Life ... and my thoughts on it

    I've been thinking alot about life these days.  The shortness of life, the sheer joy of it, the tangles and pain of it ... and what my purpose is, while I have that thing called life.  My life has been impacted the most by people who were willing to sell out to God.  They were irrationally reckless, by the world's standards.  They loved radically, served radically, and some of them died radically glorious deaths.  So glorious that it seems strange to call it death.  
    And so I look at these people's lives, and I wonder: what makes somebody like that?  Whatever it is, I want it!  And as my heart has been seeking God, He has continually spoken a single passion into my heart: to live in such a way that everything I do is for His glory.  I don't believe in this separation business - this compartmentalization of walking with God.  If I'm going to live for God, I'm going to do everything for Him, and that includes the laundry and dishes!
    That's been the longing of my heart, especially the past month.  I'm a real person.  I have bad days. And I have really bad days.  I get migraines.  And people annoy me.  Church issues bother me.  Too often my heart gets all wrapped up, and I find myself just living, and plodding along. 
    I don't want to plod along in life! I don't want to waste a second of the life God has given me!  Who knows but that tomorrow I'll die - do I want to come to the end of my life and realize too late that God gave me life so that I could joy in Him, and make Him great? 
    I'm not talking about a plastic life that is all joy and happiness and high spirituality.  Not at all! I'm just longing for a life that is real .. that in pain, joy, or weeping; in school or university or study; whether I spend my life planting potatoes in a field or doing the most spiritual work, my life would radiate the delight and treasure of knowing God.  And that all the people I come in contact with would turn and praise Him. 
    Isn't that what life is about?  I'm becoming increasingly convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt that it's not about my particular doctrinal stance; it's not about whether I read Calvin or Menno Simons; it's not about making money or earning people's approval.  Life has been given to me so that I can love God, and delight myself in Him, and make Him known to the farthest reaches of this world - so that they also can know the Treasure I have come to know. 
    And that's what I long to live for.  That's what I want to be about.  That's what I want people to see in my life.  I want to love God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength.  And I want everyone around me to know Him like that, too. With William Duma, my heart burns with the cry: "Take Your glory, Lord! You become ultimate in my life!" 

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Day out with my class in Lebanon...


The above photos are of our class' day out.  We took a vanload of children to Hershey Chocolate Factory, then out to lunch at the park.  It's one of the most rewarding things I've ever been a part of, to pour into these dear children's lives for the Lord! I love it!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Camping in the White Mountains of New Hampshire

    Hey folks! Just back from a week-long camping/sightseeing trip out in the White Mountains of New Hampshire.  That entire area is absolutely gorgeous, and I don't think I'll ever forget the view from below the mountains - surrounded on all sides by rocky, towering mountains that make one feel very, very insignificant.  
    I loved to stand in the center of one of the few open fields, and watch the sun rise over the pointy, rocky summit.  Sunsets were just as majestic, and seemed even dramatic as the sun went behind the mountain and the shadows took over.  Nightfall was always so peaceful ... the sun went down, the night birds took up their song, and the roar of the Pemigewasset River continued.  
    Of course we did have our exciting experiences as well.  Two bears, one of which climbed the side of our vehicle at night, and then climbed a tree in our camp site and hissed down at us.  Hiking on a trail that had been fairly destroyed by the recent hurricane, to a elevation of 3,500ft.  Swimming in a crystal-clear lake in the cold mountain air and shivering uncontrollably. Getting a look at the Old Man of the Mountain - New Hampshire's state symbol. 
    All in all, we had a great vacation week.  I marvel at all of the beauty that God has created.  But even more so, that He actively sustains and upholds every detail of it.  I had to laugh to myself, actually, as I gazed up at those mountains, so unmovable and unchangeable.  My God thinks nothing of moving those mountains into the sea.  That's nothing to Him! What a mighty God I serve!  I delight to be so small, so insignificant, so absolutely loved by a God like that. 
    

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Love of God...Romans eight

    I have confidence in the depths of my heart that I will be conqueror in all of the difficulties of life, because Jesus IS.  At the present moment, in fact, He is at the right hand of God, interceding for little, tiny me.  It doesn't matter at all if the whole world is against me, if the God of heaven is for me.  If God loved me so much that He actually gave His Son, and didn't even consider sparing anything for my redemption, I have nothing to fear.
    Even if I face death head on, or whether I live a life of painful, agonizing daily dying to what is most precious to me, that very thing that seems the darkest in my life right now is not capable of separating me from the love of God.  God has ordained that this very thing is working for my good. 
    If all of the angels or all of the powers of hell attempt to come against me and rip me from the power and love of God, and if God allows Satan to touch my life, my health, my family, my church - even those things in all of their power and wrath are incapable of separating me from the love of God.  Somehow, though I cannot see it, and though all of hell is coming against me, God has ordained that this very thing is working for my good.
    Though the present circumstances seem totally against the will of God, He is still sovereign.  Though wrong may seem to dominate, and seem to be capable of clouding my vision and dulling my joy, it is absolutely incapable of separating me from the love of God. 
    The future may very well hold things fearful and joyful.  Things gloriously full of gladness, and things terrifyingly difficult and painful.  It may look as dark as hell or as bright as the sun, but regardless of what it is, the future is in the hands of the Lord.  And God has ordained that whether it be dark or bright, it is good - intensely good - and it is incapable of separating me from the love of God.
    Even though there seem to be frighteningly powerful forces in this world, and I feel very small in comparison, God is still reigning over all.  The powers of darkness and the powers of light are totally under His control, and He has ordained that they cannot cross His boundaries - and even they are incapable of separating me from the love of God. 
    If I were to fly into space, and soar past the sun, the moon, and our galaxy, and if I were to travel to the farthest reaches of outer space, even there His right hand will lead me.  I may be totally out of the reach of human hands, but the hands of my God are not confined to human capabilities.  The distances that cut me off from the reach of man, and the reach of telephone and internet and emergency personnel, are still totally incapable of separating me from the love of God.
     If I take the greatest submarine ever invented, and dive to the deepest depth of the ocean that man has ever dove to, and if I hike to the deepest cave of the earth and make my home there, God's hand is still leading me.  The darkest cave cannot hide me from the all-seeing eyes of my Father.  Though there is no discernible light in the depths of the earth, to God it is as light as day.  And nothing - not the depths of the ocean or of the earth; not the darkness of hell - is capable of separating me from the love of my God.
    In fact, there is absolutely not a thing upon the face of the earth, or in heaven, or in hell, or in the deepest, darkest cave of the earth, or in the depths of the ocean, or in the farthest reaches of the universe ... or in my present circumstances and life ... that can in the smallest way, separate me from the boundless, unstoppable, everlasting love of God. 
    So, what should I say to all of these things?  If God is for us, who in all of creation can be against us?  He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?  Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies.  Who is to condemn?  Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 
    Who is even capable of separating us from the love of Christ? Is tribulation or distress? Persecution or famine? Lack of clothing or danger, or death?  Not a thing - you name everything you face today - nothing in all of creation is able or capable of separating us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

So We do Not Loose Heart

We are afflicted in every way... but not crushed. Though the pressure to turn and give up all hope is great, and would be justified, and the pain is intense due to the instability of church life and the agony of division and disunity; and though we loose friends due to confusing, unnecessary issues, and the very people we love the most turn and do the unthinkable, we are not crushed... always carrying in the body the death of Jesus. And we have this one aching desire: that through all of the afflictions, somehow, the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.



Perplexed...but not driven to despair. Though we most often do not know how to handle the situations we're walking through, and relationships are tangly; and though we feel hemmed in on both sides, and even though there seems to be absolutely no hope at all outside of Jesus, we are not driven to despair... always carrying in the body the death of Jesus. And we have this one aching desire: that through all of the perplexing turns of church life, and all of the perplexing situations, somehow, the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.



Struck down...but not destroyed. Though we feel destroyed and struck down by the prolonged turmoil and tension, and our hearts ache and long for unity and oneness among God's people, yet see no hope ahead; and though a lot of our hopes and dreams seem to be taken from us, leaving us with no hope but for Jesus, we are not destroyed... always carrying in the body the death of Jesus. And we have this one aching desire: that through the destructions and the pain, somehow, the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.



So, as people and as young people, and as churches and as the Body of Christ, we do not loose heart. We do not loose courage and begin to tremble and stand by the side lines, afraid. We won't squander our lives. We do not walk around like we saw God's obituary in the morning paper. Though our outer self – the stuff that won't matter in eternity – looses energy and vigor, and wastes away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction – though it feels like it will last forever, and though there is real pain and real suffering; and though at times we wonder if these dry bones could ever, ever be resurrected … THIS VERY THING is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison!
So we refuse to look to the things that are seen. We don't want to waste our life looking at the paper model when the real thing is yet to come. We choose, instead, to look to the things that are not directly evident – the things that seem to be absolute unreality, a impossibility because of our current situation. For the things that we see, and the things that we become weighed down by, are just temporary substitutions; they're just transient, short-lived rain showers in the spring. These things that we are incapable of seeing – these things are eternal.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Let me not loose the chance to prove...

    I very nearly didn't write a thing here, simply because I felt like I had nothing at all to share. This week has been a particularly challenging one for me.  I've been struggling with my health, again, and though that's nothing new to me, for some reason it's been particularly stretching this time around.  I don't like feeling weak; I don't like doing stupid things because I'm just too tired; I don't like forgetting really important things.  I simply cannot stand the feeling of being rather helpless and out-of-control of my body.  I'm not even going to pretend that it doesn't really frustrate me at times.  It's discouraging.  I like to be in control.
    But the Lord has really been challenging me on that one.  Do I walk in the joy of the Lord only when my feelings keep up?  Or do I rejoice just because He is, regardless of circumstance?  I've been finding joyful release in looking to Jesus through physical trial.
    So I thought I'd share the single poem that has encouraged my heart these days.  It's been special to me for years, but has held special meaning in some of the physical trials I've walked through.  And it's my heart not to loose this chance to prove the fullness of enabling love.  
 
"Before the winds that blow do cease,
Teach me to dwell within Thy calm;
Before the pain has passed in peace,
Give me, my God, to sing a psalm.
Let me not lose the chance to prove
The fullness of enabling love.
O Love of God, do this for me:
Maintain a constant victory.

Before I leave the desert land
For meadows of immortal flowers,
Lead me where streams at Thy command
Flow by the borders of the hours,
That when the thirsty come, I may
Show them the fountains in the way.
O Love of God, do this for me:
Maintain a constant victory."  ~Amy Carmichael


 

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Be Still my Soul!

    I don't know how it works for all of you, but occasionally God uses pieces of poetry, maybe a quote, a song, to speak to the deep need of my heart in a most unexpected way. That's what God did in my heart tonight.   I was reading in Acts, felt that I could almost feel what the disciples were feeling as they watched Jesus ascend back into heaven.  I could almost feel the wonder, the loneliness, the sheer amazement of their hearts as they watched the object of their hope and joy and salvation, ascend to heaven.  I could imagine those men remembering Christ's words before He left.  Remembering the very heartbeat of the One they loved so dearly.  
    And then I kept hearing those words: "Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking up into heaven?"  By all means they had a reason to stand there, open-mouthed and amazed!  But the two men in white robes were calling their eyes from gazing into heaven, to looking at the mission before them. 
    Those words kept going around in my thoughts this afternoon.  I'm wrestling with a longing to see oneness; to see real unity, real love among God's people.  It's a aching longing.  And I found myself thinking of the glories of heaven - that God's will, will be done to the ultimate degree.  I thought about the absolute void of disunity, the void of splits and divisions. The single purpose of living, being worship of the only One who matters to every last person there - our King!  
    And I was reminded of the song, "Be still my soul": "Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side..."  and I stopped there.  I thought about Christ's longing for unity among His people.  Am I longing with Christ for that?  Does He desire that, too?  If so, it doesn't matter a ounce if the rest of the world doesn't - He does.  
    It doesn't matter if it's pretty dark.  It doesn't matter what criticism follows.  It just doesn't matter - we're in it with Christ.  He doesn't want us to wait for heaven for that sheer joy.  Heaven starts here - are we with Him or not? 
    And that thought just broke my heart.  I want to be a instrument of peace while I have life - a instrument that can be used in the smallest way to bring about God's will just as it's done in heaven, here on earth.  
    "That they may become perfectly one..." 
     

Saturday, August 6, 2011

My Musings from Valley Forge Battle Field

     It''s a quiet, cloudy, damp afternoon here at Valley Forge. The quiet is so QUIET...but once I listen carefully, there's a whole host of beautiful noises. The locust singing above me, the crow caw-caw-cawing its lonely song, the songbird chirping, then the peaceful, subdued quiet.
     One can almost hear the history here. Forget the crowds of tourists, the noise of vehicles, the modern buildings scattered here and there. The battle field is there, much the same as it once was many years ago. The brown, dry grasses rustle in the breeze. The entrenchments still stand, much as they were. Were it quiet enough, you could almost hear the cries of men in battle – hear the gunshots, smell the smoke of cooking fires, hear the drums.
     I can picture the men, scattered across the field. Young, devoted men in uniform; soldiers who freely gave their lives, their bodies, their youth, for the cause. Men who loved, who left their sweethearts, their wives, their families; men who agonized, cried, who hurt...and yet who went to battle anyway.
     I picture them here, standing on this battlefield. Maybe there''s a break in the battle, and the cannon fire ceases long enough to see the smoke clear away. Evidence of the battle is everywhere – exhausted men, sitting or lying on the grass. Numerous casualties lie on cots, being carried away by their fellow soldiers; some are in great pain, suffering. Others are already gone, having used their last breath to drag their fallen brothers out of the range of enemy fire.
     I admire the men who fought here. Their courage and sheer determination – even passion – inspires and amazes me. They were totally devoted to their commander! Just to catch a glimpse of that man, so dear to their hearts, gave them strength enough to press through yet another cold, wearying day. Enough strength to press through the pain, the exhaustion, the hunger and cold. Lying in their beds at night, shivering in the harsh winter weather, something kept them going – something drove them to give, give, give, many of them to the very last drop of their blood.
     Standing here on the hill, gazing across this battlefield, I wonder at that passion that blazed in the hearts of these men. They lived lives that they felt were given to the greatest cause possible, and they knew that if they died in that cause, it was worth it all. Mother, sister, wife at home didn't keep them from giving everything for that cause. They gave their lives. They blazed for a very short time – many of these men were young, even in their twenties or teens – but they felt it was worth it all, because that blaze was given to that cause.
     I have one life, just like these men did. Can I live with the same reckless abandon, because I'm living every moment, and doing everything I do with a single passion? Can I sew that dress, care for that child, teach those girls knowing that it's just as vitally important to the Kingdom as anything else I'll ever do in my life? And do it with that passion for God? I think of the men on the battlefield who dug ditches for the cause. But it was their passion! Praise God, they got to dig ditches! And just a glimpse of Gen. Washington passing by on his horse, filled them with such love that they did it just a little more passionately than before. Do you see, maybe feel, what I'm getting at?
     Just another battlefield. Just a little space in history, lives that were lived, and lives that were lost. But it impacted my heart in a tremendous way. I want to live a life that is not wasted. That whether I die caring for a child, or on a mission field somewhere, I die knowing that a drop wasn't wasted. That's what I want. I'm not there, and you all know that, but that's where I press...living a ordinary, busy life like anybody else's – for a extraordinary God!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Just a 'Normal' Week

Describe life at the moment? Noisy, tiring, busy, running, late, hurry, grab a bite to eat, out the door, keys in hand, where am I going?, keep awake at the wheel...... Life is crazy for me these days.  Running one thing to another, one place to another, one job to another, one thought to another (I think that's called scatter-brained..).  Teaching, babysitting, working, studying, language learning... and there's supposed to be something called spare time.  I guess I lost that somewhere along the way.

Most days I'm thrilling just to live.  I love life.  There's nothing I'd rather do, than to live life rejoicing in God and loving Him.  If you want a thrill, try it sometime.  Nothing like it! But other days, like today, I have to remind myself of my purpose.  Center myself again by looking to Jesus.  Somehow I can't walk crooked while I'm gazing at Him - it just doesn't happen!

So...take a peek into my day.  I taught sewing class yesterday again, and this time we were working on cutting out dresses.  Laying the patterns on the fabric so as to spare as much fabric as possible, pinning the fabric down, painstakingly cutting around the pattern.  Those big, sharp scissors were making me nervous, as I let the girls attack their newest project.  That was nice polyester dress fabric...but the perfectionist in me has to let go and let them learn.  It's not a disaster to loose three yards of fabric; but it IS a disaster for the girls to remember their first times sewing by that piece of cloth they ruined. ;)  They're more important!

Did you know that you can run a sewing machine as fast as it will go, and it will smell like burning oil?  I didn't.  But we found out yesterday at sewing class!  What about the sound of nice, sharp metal scissors opening and closing endlessly (while I was trying to teach another student...patience is not her virtue...)  - did you ever think that it sounds like a Goodwill shopping trip?  Neither did I.  But come to think of it, it's remarkably accurate! It's amazing the things we learn at sewing class! :)

And we also enjoy our miniature, in-home steaming geyser. (More commonly known as a steam iron)  My lessons have been interrupted numerous times by sudden and impulsive peals of laughter as the steam iron spits out a cloud of steam.  At first it was a terrifying thing, but now that they're getting used to the iron, it's just so much fun to steam it into the air and watch the cloud dissipate.  Sewing class? Absolutely!

Anyway, I think you get the point. We have alot of fun at sewing class, and this teacher has learned a thing or two in the process as well!  There's joy in watching little minds understand something for the first time.  We're building relationships, learning to appreciate and love each other.  That's precious, and it's going to last over the years - even if they do forget to back-stitch. ;)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

My recent thoughts...

 The following consists of  my thoughts last night...uncensored, just-as-they-came.  :) 

There's a obvious connection between receiving the grace of God – in all of it's unreasonableness – and in giving grace to others. If I see myself as nothing in myself, and everything through the work of Christ (He makes those things that are not as though they are.), I will see others the same way.
If I see myself as the one who has received mercy – mercy that I did not deserve, could not have earned, could not have bought – I will NOT be able to turn around and refuse to give that mercy to my brother. In fact the very idea would be uncomfortable; I am living simply on the life of another. I'm free because Someone went in my place. I am not worthy of it, I could not free myself from the crime and sin I was entangled in; I would be the same old, sinful person had Someone not exchanged His life for mine.
Can I really refuse that kind of grace to my brother? Am I any better than he is? Outside of the grace of God, I'm nothing. I'm false and full of sin to the core and nothing I can do will help that. I would be terrified to refuse the very grace I received, undeservingly, to my brother. Quoting from Matthew 18:32-35 “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you? And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Following the same thought, I see Christ's heart clearly from Matthew 9:11-13 (also see parallel in Hosea 6:6) “I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.” Jesus was saying this as he listened to the pharisees talking about why Jesus – Jesus! - would sit at the table with tax collectors and sinners. Why would He defile Himself like that? Mercy, not sacrifice. Love, not hatred and disgust. His reply was quite startling, if you read through the Old Testament and levitical law.
Looking at mercy and undeserved grace, I turn to Romans 8:31-34 These verses are radical verses; I read them and weep to think of how we would live if we only lived out the Bible and weren't afraid of what might happen. “What then shall we say to these things? If GOD is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died – more than that, who was raised – who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.
Wow. If we lived that way – if we saw each other as Christ sees us; If we judged as He does; if we loved like He loved/loves us, what a difference! We would see the power of God poured out on us! I can hardly imagine the freedom to live all-out, to serve, to love. The church would be built up; the Gospel would be spread by people who are reveling in God, and in His grace; people would see Christ by our lives, as we love one another; and the ultimate goal of life would be lived – God's name would be lifted up! Glorified! Honored! Made GREAT!!!
Oh God, wouldn't you do it?