I've been thinking alot about life these days. The shortness of life, the sheer joy of it, the tangles and pain of it ... and what my purpose is, while I have that thing called life. My life has been impacted the most by people who were willing to sell out to God. They were irrationally reckless, by the world's standards. They loved radically, served radically, and some of them died radically glorious deaths. So glorious that it seems strange to call it death.
And so I look at these people's lives, and I wonder: what makes somebody like that? Whatever it is, I want it! And as my heart has been seeking God, He has continually spoken a single passion into my heart: to live in such a way that everything I do is for His glory. I don't believe in this separation business - this compartmentalization of walking with God. If I'm going to live for God, I'm going to do everything for Him, and that includes the laundry and dishes!
That's been the longing of my heart, especially the past month. I'm a real person. I have bad days. And I have really bad days. I get migraines. And people annoy me. Church issues bother me. Too often my heart gets all wrapped up, and I find myself just living, and plodding along.
I don't want to plod along in life! I don't want to waste a second of the life God has given me! Who knows but that tomorrow I'll die - do I want to come to the end of my life and realize too late that God gave me life so that I could joy in Him, and make Him great?
I'm not talking about a plastic life that is all joy and happiness and high spirituality. Not at all! I'm just longing for a life that is real .. that in pain, joy, or weeping; in school or university or study; whether I spend my life planting potatoes in a field or doing the most spiritual work, my life would radiate the delight and treasure of knowing God. And that all the people I come in contact with would turn and praise Him.
Isn't that what life is about? I'm becoming increasingly convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt that it's not about my particular doctrinal stance; it's not about whether I read Calvin or Menno Simons; it's not about making money or earning people's approval. Life has been given to me so that I can love God, and delight myself in Him, and make Him known to the farthest reaches of this world - so that they also can know the Treasure I have come to know.
And that's what I long to live for. That's what I want to be about. That's what I want people to see in my life. I want to love God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. And I want everyone around me to know Him like that, too. With William Duma, my heart burns with the cry: "Take Your glory, Lord! You become ultimate in my life!"
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