day 14 of 365...

Wow, it's been awhile since I posted anything here! My apologies, people. Blogging doesn't have priority in my life. ;)

I've been loving life these first few weeks of 2012. That sounds trite, but I'm serious - God has been doing things in my heart that I never expected or dreamed He would do. And I'm absolutely thrilled. Crazy busy, dealing with health struggles, learning a 2nd language, sewing dresses for two weddings (and all 10 dresses need to be done in a month. On the same date. Go figure.), childrens' ministry - just life - and finding Jesus sweeter than I ever knew.

I've been thinking about life in general, about a new year ahead, about the shortness of my life, as I have been reading through 2 Cor. 4-5.  And a few verses shone out to my heart: "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.."

And then the part that hit me the hardest. ".. always carring in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies."

And almost without a breath, it goes right into verse 16: "So we do not lose heart.." (Like, there's purpose in this pain! See past it!) "..Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.... as we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen."

Yeah. Does that blow you away like it does me? I read it and just sat there, with overwhelming thankfulness to God. I thought of all the pain of the past months, all the challenges, the things that seemed so wrong; all of the health issues...the places I want to go, but can't, because of them.  And it was like God said, "Wait. I've got a purpose in it. See past it! There's something more here!"

So ... we don't have to loose heart. I'm not loosing heart. I'm thrilled that my life - one of millions of people on this earth - has a purpose. And I'm thrilled that God is always doing a thousand times more than we can see. And He can use the brokenness in my life for good.

God is so good!!

2012 and my one life to live ..

    Well,  it's the first day of 2012, and I thought that warranted a post here. Yesterday I thought about the tradition of making New-Year's-Resolutions-That-I-Never-Keep, and that seemed pretty lame to me. I don't believe in resolving to do something that I know I'll not do past next week.  :)
    But regardless, I was really challenged by the suggestion to pick one of Jonathan Edward's Resolutions (http://dailychristianquote.com/dcqresolve.html) as a goal for this coming year.  Having read much of Jonathan Edward's writings and sermons, I have a high regard for his life and testimony, and have been incredibly blessed by his humility and heart after God.
  So I picked one of his resolutions as something that I want to remember throughout this coming year, and the rest of my life: "Resolved, never, henceforth, till I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God's."  And also, right along with that, was the second resolution: "Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the might, power, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way ... "  
    That's what I want in this next year.  That's what I want in my life.  To live life with all I've got - I like that word violence in this context - for the glory of God, in a way that speaks of my owned-ness, with as much might and power and vigor and violence that I'm capable of. In Jonathan Edward's words, "to live with all my might while I do live." 
    I'd love to hear what God has put in your hearts, as you look towards another new year. What's your goals, visions, desires?